It’s absolutely crazy thinking about everything that’s happened over the past few years – my accomplishments, my challenges and my “still to do” list. I remember earlier crying when I learned about the death of Stuart Scott, the ESPN broadcaster, recently. His story was very moving. Then I thought about his daughters.
I, too, have a daughter. I remember his last speech at the Espy Awards. He basically said that he wasn’t dying of cancer – rather he was living with it. That was my same thought process when I received my cancer notice in 2010: Live to fight this disease.
I remember my first diagnostic mammogram this year. It was unique because it was the first time I wasn’t incredibly anxious. It took the doctor a bit longer than normal to read my film, but I wasn’t worried. Even when the nurse told me that the doctor needed additional films and an ultrasound, my only concern was that I needed to pick up my daughter.
Oh how far we’ve all come…
Although most cancer patients try to repress thoughts of cancer recurring, the thoughts are always there – but that day, my only concern was picking up my daughter. After several hours of waiting, the doctor finally said that everything looked good and I could leave. I’m still so thankful to this day to be cancer free!
En route to pick up my daughter, I thought about what had just happened.
Once again, my daughter was at the forefront of my mind, giving me strength. When I was going through chemo, she inspired me to write down some of our most eventful and funny times, like her response to seeing my hair shedding all over bathroom floor.
Back then, when I noticed her standing in the bathroom doorway, my heart stopped…
The bathroom floor was cold under my toes. I wasn’t afraid of her knowing, I was afraid of breaking the bubble of protection that comes with childhood. The innocence that her adorable face always carries. But she wasn’t scared. She just smiled. She told me that I looked like her bald daddy! I still laugh today thinking about it.
This is the incident which inspired me to write Where’s Mommy’s Hair? So now, getting into 2015, I’m thankful for being over halfway into my 5th year of remission. I thankful that I’m not letting it control my life. I’m thankful for my husband and daughter who believe I’m superwoman. I am thankful for my family and friends for their continued prayers.
And thank YOU for coming along for the ride!